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What is Love Bombing?



The term ‘Love Bombing’ means just that, an explosion of excessive affection, compliments, lavish gifts and declarations of love. This might seem positive at first, however, it could be the first red flag of an unhealthy relationship, abuse or control.


Things like compliments, gifts and excitement with a new potential partner are totally normal; some call it the honeymoon period or being swept off your feet. But, people can often confuse controlling and coercive behaviour for love and affection (because that is what the abuser wants - to break down your barriers). An abusive person is rarely abusive at the beginning of a relationship, as few people continue to stay and become even more attached. This over-the-top show of affection could be a manipulation technique, a way to charm you and trap you once you are emotionally invested.


Here are some classic ‘Love Bombing’ tactics and red flags to look out for.


Lavish Gifts & Excessive Compliments

Showering someone with excessive compliments or expensive gifts before you have properly gotten to know each other is a bit extreme. This can leave you feeling overwhelmed, but its intent can be to manipulate you into thinking you owe this person something in return, creating an unhealthy dynamic within the relationship from the get-go.


Another red flag to look out for is if someone gets you a gift or does something nice for you in the relationship and then brings it up at a later date. If they choose to do something nice for you or buy you a gift, that is their choice, and you are not indebted to them in any way.



Too Much Too Soon

People who want serious commitment from you but haven’t known you for very long. This could look like this:

  • Asking you to move in together straight away (or offering you keys to their house)

  • Speaking of marriage and babies after only a few dates